Do I lack confidence? Sometimes. You? It doesn’t have to be the same for you. The question makes you stop and wonder, doesn’t it? Because the answer you probably have is fogged by delusions, denial and an attempt to hide reality doesn’t do much. And you’re not alone. Most people lack confidence. So let’s see what are the signs and what we can do about it.
You lack confidence if you find it difficult to prioritize your needs or feelings. Feeling guilty for trivial everyday actions and the inability to set healthy boundaries are telltale signs of low self-confidence. If all of this sounds like you, then you lack confidence.
Fret not. There is a way to get out of the low self-confidence web and before we go there, let’s understand these telling signs a little better so that it becomes easier for you to evaluate your confidence levels.
5 Big Signs: Lack Of Confidence
If you or someone you love lacks confidence and is stuck, there are visible signs. Here are some things you need to look for.
Self-neglect Is Your Friend
People think I’m very confident because I “appear” to be. If you get to know me, you’ll realize how much I put away my own things for the very end of the day or even end of “forever”. Most signs of lack of confidence can be mistaken for a lack of accountability and it’s also hard for other people to always understand what’s going on in our minds.
If you constantly put yourself last too, you are low on confidence. If you stopped taking care of yourself and are always putting others thoughts, needs, wishes and decisions before yours, you have your answer.
You Have No Expectations From Self
If you’ve decided that your life will be mediocre and have stopped putting in any efforts to go after your dreams or goals, something’s off. People who are low on confidence tend to think that they’ll never be successful, so why try anyway? They settle for anything that comes their way without questioning if they deserve better.
You Apologize More Than You Should
According to you, everything that goes wrong is somehow because of you. Apologizing is a good thing in situations where you’re at fault but what about situations where you weren’t in the wrong? If you apologize profusely after normal discussions and feel like you did something wrong when you didn’t, you lack confidence. Having a different opinion is not a “fault”.
You Can’t Say No
Whether you like something or not, can do something or not, you almost never say no. People with low self-confidence continuously seek other peoples validation. According to them, saying yes to everything that others demand of them will make them more likeable.
This leads to you attracting all the wrong people in your life. Expect everything from toxic relationships to low paying jobs. They’re looking for someone they can take advantage of and you’re right there waiting to be taken advantage of.
Fear of Failure and Rejection
People who are low on confidence mistrust their own capacity to succeed. This stems from their fear of failure, but it doesn’t stop them from avoiding difficult situations or giving up before they’ve even tried.
Behaviors such as lashing out when things go wrong or looking for ways to disguise feelings of inadequacy are examples of this fear of failure. For example, people may create excuses or blame external circumstances for failing to complete a project.
5 Big Tips: Get More Confident
Low self-confidence isn’t a death sentence but confident people are most successful. Nothing to worry about because there are so many ways to get out of that trap and accelerate your life towards greatness, fulfilment and happiness. Here are five of them.
It’s time to get to know yourself. Write down your feelings, thoughts, patterns, habits, experiences, schedule, goals, dreams, opportunities. Basically, write down everything you know about you, what you want and what you don’t, both positive and negative. Be honest but be thoughtful. Know that everyone has flaws so instead of giving a context to your positives or negatives, just list them down without any particular tone.
This will help you understand yourself better and see any particular patterns you follow. For example, are you always in toxic relationships or jobs you hate? Are you unable to say no? Knowing the problem areas will help you solve them faster.
Be Kind to Yourself
Cheesy? Put it in a pizza and eat it because being kind to oneself is a necessity. It comes with self-love and care. If you do everything with a self-blaming or self-hating eye, you’re going to end up lowering your confidence further down the dungeon.
Know that you’re not a superhuman and it’s okay to make mistakes. You’re not always the reason for everything that goes wrong in the world. It’s okay to be slow, it’s okay to not be “in” with the trends. Those things don’t define you. What you think of yourself and how you treat yourself define you.
Set Smaller Goals
Don’t overwhelm yourself. If you’re unable to make changes to your life, start small. You don’t need to have your first goal as creating the tallest building in the world. It can be as simple as growing a small plant. That’s one of the goals I started with to start making changes to my life.
Maintain a journal of small goals and check them off the list as you achieve them. Seeing yourself accomplish these small goals will boost your confidence and help you trust your abilities again. You can then scale up the degree of the goals you set.
Focus On Solutions
Instead of thinking “my life is never going to change”, think “what would my life be like if I go after what I love?”. This shifts your focus from the problem to the solution. When you know what’s the solution and the outcome, you’ll motivate yourself into “doing” what’s needed instead of “thinking” that it’s u achievable.
Surprise! Nothing is unachievable. Nothing, if you work towards getting it and everything, if you think it is.
Learn Something New
It could be learning to play new musical instrument, learning a new language or learning a new skill related to your profession. According to Psychologies, UK, learning something new can make you happier. Also, learning something new means gaining new knowledge which can make you feel more confident.
The good news is that confidence can be learned! Here are all the resources for boosting your confidence.
Everyone Holds The Power to Greatness
If you’re still thinking, “no, I’m just mediocre and this isn’t for me”, then you need this the most. These small actionable steps can make a huge difference and you need to try these out to believe me. I did all that I’ve written here and that’s the reason why I was even able to start this blog in the first place. Don’t believe me? Hear me out to understand how I deal with myself or someone when I spot low confidence.
Focus on the world inside you to change your world outside you.